A Washington Nationals Musical in the Spirit of Les Miserables

by John Aquino on 08/04/19

Les Nationalables

A Musical appreciation of the Washington Nationals 2019 season through July based on Les Miserables

Opening Number. The Washington Nationals’ team storms onto the stage, angry at their latest loss.

At the End of the Day—Ensemble

At the end of the day all that matters is winning

Doesn’t matter how much

Or how hard you try.

If a line drive takes a hop

Or our catcher drops the ball

Doesn’t matter, it doesn’t matter at all.

 

Is there someone to pay to just skip the eighth inning,

So we’ll never again blow a 10 to 1 lead?

No more boos or hateful mail,

Or death threats each time we fail,

Each time we fail,

At the end of the day.

 

Max Scherzer, the Nationals’ ace pitcher, steps forward and sings.

One My Own—Scherzer

 

On my own, pretending they’re behind me,

As the balls are whizzing swiftly passed me,

And runners are whirling, whirling by me,

I hear bats crack and nothing back,

Like there's empty space behind me.

 

And I know I'm pretending in my mind.

If I turn around, they will not be there.

And I know that someday I'll find,

They’re out of here and drinking beer,

And eating camembert!

 

On my own,

I’ll simply keep pretending,

That they’re back there

And to their jobs attending.

I’ll strike out as many as I’m able.

It would be nice

If once or twice

I’d feel I’m not alone.

I’m out here.

I’m out here.

I’m out here

On my own. 

Scherzer steps back. Mike Rizzo, Nationals’ general manager, dressed in a sports shirt and slacks, steps forward.

 

Master of the House—Rizzo

 

Master of the House,

General manager,

Happy as an apple

If you call me “sir.”

But if you throw your glove,

If you give me sass,

I’ll trade you in a second for a bunch of cash.

Everybody loves the GM

Everyone loves the boss,

And the Lerners still will keep me

No matter what the loss. 

Rizzo steps back. Dave Martinez, the Nationals’ manager, steps forward. An announcer’s voice is heard.: “Two outs, the bottom of the ninth, the Nats are a run behind, and Turner is on second." Martinez sings:

Bring Him Home--Martinez

 

God on high,

Hear my prayer,

In my need,

You have sometimes been there.

He is young,

And not afraid,

He’s not slow,

As you know.

Bring him home,

Bring him home,

Bring him home.

Martinez steps back. Former Washington Nationals’ star Bryce Harper enters wearing a Philadelphia Phillies’ uniform.

            Stars—Harper

There, there in the distance,

My agent is hustling,

Hustling for me,

Hustling for me.

He’ll make a good deal

And I’ll finally feel

That I’m a star,

That I’m a star.

 

I hear the boos and the hiss

When a change-up I' will miss,

And the cries of traitor and turncoat

Still ring in my ears.

And though my new team boos me too,

It's millions I'll clear.

 

And so it has been,

And so it is written,

On the door of the hall of fame,

That he who shines like the rising sun

Will get his price.

 

Lord, please let me get it,

That I can turn it

Into gold bars,

And it will be mine,

This I swear,

This I swear by the stars! 

Harper exits. Martinez, the Nationals’ manager, steps forward.

Empty Seats on Empty Benches--Martinez

 

There’s a grief that can’t be spoken,

There’s a pain goes on and on,

Empty seats on empty benches,

Friends are traded, and they’re gone.

 

I remember Daniel Murphy,

Ross Detwiler, Michael Morse,

And of course there’s all the money,

But that’s par for Rizzo’s course.

 

Oh, my friends, my friends forgive me,

That I’m here and you are gone,

There’s a grief that can’t be spoken,

And the pain goes on and on. 

The entire Washington Nationals’ team comes forward for the finale.

 

Finale

One Day More—Ensemble 

 

One day more,

Another day, another chance to win,

We know we’ve said this all before,

But if you give us one day more,

One day more.

 

One day to an extra inning,

Everyone will get a ring,

Can’t you see a new beginning,

Can’t you hear the people sing,

And sing,

And sing,

 

One day more!

One more day to revolution,

We will win and never stop,

Say goodbye to wretched losing,

We will make it to the top.

 

Tomorrow we will soar away,

Tomorrow is the judgment day,

Tomorrow we’ll discover

What the Lord in heaven has in score.

One more dawn!

One more day!

One day more!

Copyright 2019 by John T. Aquino. This is a parody.